#Movies To Watch After Losing a Loved One – Keisha Blair in Self Magazine

#Movies To Watch After Losing a Loved One – Keisha Blair in Self Magazine

Do you remember a movie or a song that really resonated with you after you broke up with a boyfriend or lost a loved one? I chatted with Lindsay Landquist, Editor at Self Magazine about a movie that really resonated with me after my husband passed away. Do any of the Golden Globe 2018 movies (#GoldenGlobes) resonate this year? Can you guess which movie I chose? I’ll give you a couple hints: it was a huge blockbuster, it involved young love, and the relationship was short-lived and its in the picture above. Read on below.

11 People Share the Movies They Watched After Losing a Loved One

“Your mother loved you very much,” my dad said. I already knew what he would say next. I felt my head throb, and the tears well, and the blood rush to my hot, flushed cheeks. I was 14.

Grief was weird and confusing to me then, and it still is now nearly 10 years later. The day after my mom passed away, I made myself go to school. Surrounding myself with people and activities and stuff seemed easier than sitting alone in my room dwelling on what had just happened. But then there were days when I didn’t feel like going to school at all—I wanted to sit on the floor of my shower and cry, or totally disconnect from the world around me by losing myself in the fictional world of a book, TV show, or movie. These alternate universes allowed me to escape—sometimes for a few hours, sometimes for just a few moments—and they helped me feel less alone without requiring me to publicly experience my grief.

I don’t know what I watched. Because honestly, what do you watch when you’re a 14-year-old whose mom just died? What do you watch when you’re anyone who’s lost a loved one of any kind? There’s no life map for that kind of grief; you just have to live each day and keep living each day until eventually, maybe, things stop hurting as much.

I like having a way forward, though—or at least knowing where I can find a rest stop or two when I need to get away from the sadness and grief. So I asked other women what movies they’ve turned to in times of loss and what kind of emotional respite those movies gave them. Because again, it’s hard to know what to watch when you’ve lost someone so close to you. And sometimes, you don’t know what to watch at all. Sometimes, you just turn on the TV or head to the movie theater, and you find something. And sometimes, that something just happens to help.

1. Rocky (1976)

“My father always loved the Rocky movies. Watching the titular character be down on his luck for most of the movie and then emerge triumphant in the end reminded me that I could do the same when it came to losing my dad. My father would definitely want me jumping up and down on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum rather than wallowing in my own sadness.” —Tracy H., 53

2. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)

“In the first year after I lost my father, I found myself re-watching To Kill a Mockingbird. Atticus Finch embodies many of the character traits I admired in my father—humility, fairness, honesty, and a deep appreciation for the simple things in life. George Bailey (who played Finch) visually reminded me of my father, too; they shared many of the same mannerisms, and that was surprisingly soothing.” —Lisa R., 58

3. The Mighty Ducks (1992)

“When I lost my dad in 2016, I turned to The Mighty Ducks—a movie from my childhood that brings up all kinds of connections to my dad, a Minnesota boy who loved hockey and embraced every opportunity to be goofy. It was a great source of comfort and nostalgia during my heartache.” —Katie H., 28


4. After Life (1998)

“This beautiful Japanese film brought me a great deal of comfort, because it made me think through all the memories I had with my late father. The basic premise of the film is: If you have to pick one—just one—good memory to take with you to eternity, what would it be? (There’s nothing like the loss of a loved one to force you to examine your own life.)” —Laura P., 46

5. The Shack (2017)

“I lost my sister to uterine cancer last March, and I hadn’t really been able to cry or feel any emotion since. But about a month ago I was up pretty late and decided to watch TV. The Shack was on, and I thought I’d check it out, since I like Radha Mitchell’s films. I wasn’t sure it’d be any good, but by the end, I was sobbing. I guess everything happens in its own time.” —Patricia B., 60

6. I Think This Is the Closest to How the Footage Looked

I Think This Is the Closest to How the Footage Looked is a short film I saw at an outdoor festival in Brooklyn a few years ago (a loaded sentence, I know). It’s so visceral, and tragic, and all-consuming; it takes everything out of me every time I watch it. The film does a really good job of speaking to the regret some people feel when they lose a loved one—moments they wish they’d recorded, exchanges they wish they’d cherished a little bit more. That’s something I struggled a lot with when I lost my mom, and it makes me feel less alone knowing that at least one other person—the filmmaker—felt that way, too.” —Lindsey L., 23, SELF Associate Editor

7. Titanic (1997)

“My husband passed away suddenly when both of us were pretty young. In the aftermath, I watched Titanic—a lot. The story, which is about two young people who share a short-lived romance, really resonated with me and my situation.” —Keisha Blair.

To continue reading click here: https://www.self.com/gallery/movies-to-watch-while-grieving

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