overcoming tragedy and loss<\/span><\/u><\/a>. The shooting at a Quebec Mosque by Alexandre Bissonnette today highlights this.\u00a0 In stressful times, be it national, local or international, it is important for families and communities to work together to foster supportive relationships.\u00a0 As caring adults, we\u00a0need to help\u00a0children and youth\u00a0navigate their emotional reactions to these incidents. Tragic incidents can alter a person’s sense of security thus the importance of offering reassurance to children and youth.<\/p>\nDr. Elizabeth Paquette, Chief Psychologist at the Ottawa Catholic School Board recommends the following strategies to assist with helping children and youth feel safe.<\/p>\n
Be reassuring<\/strong>. Children take their emotional cues from the significant adults in their lives. Your reactions <\/span>are most important. Recognize that some children may be concerned about something bad happening to themselves, family or friends. Explain to them the safety measures in place and reassure them that you and other adults will take care of them.<\/p>\nBe a good listener and observer<\/strong>. Let children guide you to learn how concerned they are or how much <\/span><\/div>\ninformation they need. If they are not focused on the tragedy, do not dwell on it. However, be available to<\/div>\n
answer their questions to the best of your ability. Provide a safe space for them to talk about their fears.<\/div>\n
Young children may not be able to express themselves verbally. Pay attention to changes in their<\/div>\n
behavior or soci
al interactions. <\/span>The following reactions in children or youth may indicate a need for further<\/div>\nsupport: isolation or refusal to attend school, or withdrawal from social activities.<\/div>\n
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Monitor the news<\/strong>. Images of a disaster or crisis event can become overwhelming, especially if watched <\/span><\/span><\/div>\nrepetitively. Young children in particular may not be able to distinguish between images on television and<\/div>\n
their personal reality. Older children may choose to watch the news, but be available to discuss what they<\/div>\n
see and to help
put it into perspective. <\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Emphasize people\u2019s resiliency<\/strong>. Help children understand the ability of people to come through a tragic <\/span><\/div>\nevent and go on with their lives. Focus on children\u2019s own competencies in terms of how they coped in<\/div>\n
daily life during difficul
t times. In age–<\/span><\/span>appropriate terms, identify other crises from which people,<\/div>\ncommunities, or countries have recovered.<\/div>\n
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Highlight positive outcomes. <\/strong>It can be helpful to notice the good that emerges within tragic events; <\/span><\/div>\nsuch as how the world or a community comes together, how people help one another, the heroes that<\/div>\n
help, and small acts of kindness.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Highlight people\u2019s compassion and humanity<\/strong>. Large–scale tragedies often generate a tremendous <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\noutpouring of caring and support from around the country and world. Focus on the help and hopeful<\/div>\n
thoughts being offered to those affected by other people.<\/div>\n
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Encourage positive coping strategies and behaviou<\/strong>rs<\/strong>. Regular sleep routines and healthy eating are <\/span><\/span><\/div>\nimportant to emotional well
–<\/span>being. Encourage children to participate in activities they enjoy to help deal<\/div>\nwith stress.<\/div>\n
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Maintain as much continuity and normalcy as possible<\/strong>. Allowing children to deal with their reactions <\/span><\/div>\nis important but so is providing a sense of normalcy. Routine family activities, classes, after
–<\/span>school <\/span><\/div>\nactivities, and friends can help children feel more secure and better able to function.<\/div>\n
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Spend family time<\/strong>. Being with family is always important in difficult or sad times. Even if your children <\/span><\/div>\nare not significantly impacted by this tragedy, this may be a good opportunity to participate in and to<\/div>\n
appreciate family life. Doing things together reinforces children\u2019s sense of stability and connectedness.<\/div>\n
Ask for help if you or your children need it.
Any tragedy can feel overwhelming for families directly <\/span><\/div>\naffected, particularly those who have lost loved ones. Staying connected to your community can be<\/div>\n
extremely help
ful. It may also be important to seek additional support from a mental health professional to <\/span><\/div>\ncope with overwhelming feelings.<\/div>\n
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Communicate with your school<\/strong>. Children directly impacted by the disaster may be under a great deal of <\/span><\/div>\nstress that can be very disruptive to learning. Together, parents and teachers can determine what extra<\/div>\n
support or leniency students need and work with parents to develop a plan to help student.
Report any <\/span><\/div>\ninstances of bullying or harassment (in
–<\/span>person or on social media) that you become aware of. <\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Be aware of your own needs<\/strong>. Don\u2019t ignore your own feelings of anxiety, grief, and anger. Talking to <\/span><\/div>\nfriends, family members, priest, and mental health counselors can help. It is important to let your children<\/div>\n
know that you are sad. You will be better able to support your children if you can express your own<\/div>\n
emotions in a productive manner. Get appropriate sleep, nutrition, and exercise.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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